We have been going through some frustrating times around here. Nothing serious. In fact, our problems stem from having too many good things. Jerry and I have a small company, and we are one of the few that we know that are fortunate to have ample work in these times. I am also lucky enough to have three boys with an overabundance of health and high spirits. Surprisingly enough, they do not wake up in the morning, clamoring to start their studies. Instead, they would prefer to build, shoot imaginary aliens and ride their bikes with reckless abandon. And, unlike many these days, we have a home and a bit of land. That requires some attention as well, although given the predicament many face, I really can't complain.
Still, Jerry and I have been feeling a bit worn thin of late and patience has been in short supply. Again, nothing serious, but laughter and fun have been a bit scarce.
During moments like these, I tend to take my homeschooling responsibilities a bit too seriously. I fail to see the forest for the trees. I see what we haven't accomplished instead of what amazing things the boys are doing, learning and enjoying.
On an only tangentially related note, I have been exploring blogs addressing creativity and gratitude of late. I recently discovered SouleMama. While not a homeschooling blog, Amanda quoted a passage from Peggy O'Mara's The Way Back Home in her post today that struck a deep chord with me as a homeschooling mother. Here it is:
Still, Jerry and I have been feeling a bit worn thin of late and patience has been in short supply. Again, nothing serious, but laughter and fun have been a bit scarce.
During moments like these, I tend to take my homeschooling responsibilities a bit too seriously. I fail to see the forest for the trees. I see what we haven't accomplished instead of what amazing things the boys are doing, learning and enjoying.
On an only tangentially related note, I have been exploring blogs addressing creativity and gratitude of late. I recently discovered SouleMama. While not a homeschooling blog, Amanda quoted a passage from Peggy O'Mara's The Way Back Home in her post today that struck a deep chord with me as a homeschooling mother. Here it is:
"...understand that to nurture and love others with the grace you desire means taking care of yourself and cultivating your own inner harmony. Inner harmony grows not by finding ways to get away from your child, but by giving yourself the gift of a hot bath at the end of a long day, reading a book of poetry, talking to a friend on the phone, taking a nap, crying, getting a massage, having a day off from cleaning and cooking, staying in your pajamas all day, swimming, going out to eat, or attending a conference. Do something for yourself as you give. Learn to laugh at yourself and not take yourself so seriously."
I think I've become so intensely focused on just keeping up with tax preparation, lesson planning, grocery shopping and the like that I have forgotten to replenish my own energies.
What, you may be wondering, does any of this have to do with homeschooling? Everything, I would argue. The past couple of days prove my point.
Jerry went out of town on business early Wednesday morning, and my Mom has been helping me while he's gone. My Mom brings a presence and order to my house that two busy parents cannot. While she is here, I've had the unheard of luxury of sleeping in till 8:30 in the morning, and I've had more time to cook and eat healthy meals.
Still, my beloved sons have not been tripping over themselves to see how much time they could spend on their studies, and my irritation has been evident. In a fit of pique, I handed my mom a list of assignments late yesterday afternoon and headed out the gym.
Now, the gym is where I work off tension. Pounding an elliptical gives me an instant, reliable sense of accomplishment that can be elusive with homeschooling. It is my antidote to the sense of pushing string I have at home. However, I haven't felt I could take the time to go to the gym for the past month or so because the boys having been dragging their work out till late in the day.
After taking the time for a long stretch, I drove home, expecting to find little had been accomplished. Instead, I found Landry had decided to write a diamonte, a poetic form we studied months ago, instead of taking the easy route and writing a paragraph. Kipp was completely absorbed in writing music to the point that he had to rig up an extension cord so he could continue working while we watched a movie later in the evening. Little Galen was happily completing tanagram after tanagram.
The awful thing is that I would probably not seen how really neat that moment was if I hadn't gone to the gym that evening. I really would have missed out on how very fortunate I am. I also would not have realized that my intense focus on lesson plans and the resulting frustration was only hindering my real goal of giving the boys a deep and abiding love of learning. The boy are learning and thriving beautifully without my darn schedule!
That leads me to my next quote. This one is from a recent Lenten post by Christine Valters Paintner at Abbey of the Arts: "We will only see beauty if we practice." By this, Christine means that the beauty we seek is already there. We just have to learn to look for it. I'm glad I took the time to see the beauty in my family last night.
Several years ago, I lamented to a friend that I failed to have a consistent spiritual practice once I had children. My friend immediately responded, "Annie, your life is your practice."
Yet again, my practice has reminded me that my desire for perfectionism and control in the chaos that is my life may only be hindering my happiness and my deepest hopes for my sons. Sometimes, in order to accomplish what you want most, you need to get out of the way and let it happen.
What, you may be wondering, does any of this have to do with homeschooling? Everything, I would argue. The past couple of days prove my point.
Jerry went out of town on business early Wednesday morning, and my Mom has been helping me while he's gone. My Mom brings a presence and order to my house that two busy parents cannot. While she is here, I've had the unheard of luxury of sleeping in till 8:30 in the morning, and I've had more time to cook and eat healthy meals.
Still, my beloved sons have not been tripping over themselves to see how much time they could spend on their studies, and my irritation has been evident. In a fit of pique, I handed my mom a list of assignments late yesterday afternoon and headed out the gym.
Now, the gym is where I work off tension. Pounding an elliptical gives me an instant, reliable sense of accomplishment that can be elusive with homeschooling. It is my antidote to the sense of pushing string I have at home. However, I haven't felt I could take the time to go to the gym for the past month or so because the boys having been dragging their work out till late in the day.
After taking the time for a long stretch, I drove home, expecting to find little had been accomplished. Instead, I found Landry had decided to write a diamonte, a poetic form we studied months ago, instead of taking the easy route and writing a paragraph. Kipp was completely absorbed in writing music to the point that he had to rig up an extension cord so he could continue working while we watched a movie later in the evening. Little Galen was happily completing tanagram after tanagram.
The awful thing is that I would probably not seen how really neat that moment was if I hadn't gone to the gym that evening. I really would have missed out on how very fortunate I am. I also would not have realized that my intense focus on lesson plans and the resulting frustration was only hindering my real goal of giving the boys a deep and abiding love of learning. The boy are learning and thriving beautifully without my darn schedule!
That leads me to my next quote. This one is from a recent Lenten post by Christine Valters Paintner at Abbey of the Arts: "We will only see beauty if we practice." By this, Christine means that the beauty we seek is already there. We just have to learn to look for it. I'm glad I took the time to see the beauty in my family last night.
Several years ago, I lamented to a friend that I failed to have a consistent spiritual practice once I had children. My friend immediately responded, "Annie, your life is your practice."
Yet again, my practice has reminded me that my desire for perfectionism and control in the chaos that is my life may only be hindering my happiness and my deepest hopes for my sons. Sometimes, in order to accomplish what you want most, you need to get out of the way and let it happen.
Excellent, excellent post! It always seems when I hit bottom in the 'woe is me' homeschooling mom cycle, someone is right there to pick me up again. Thanks for the boost.
I'd also like to throw in a Hallelujah for involved grandparents! My parents have been reliable helpers in our homeschooling journey. Their support keeps me closer to sane.